Tanya Silva – Self Care is the Gateway to Self Mastery


Sobriety Date: 2006 


https://www.amazon.com/dp/0743289803/?ref=exp_loc_pl_rushtechsupport – The Hidden Messages in Water by Masaru Emoto

“If you have one option, you have no options”

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You come from a space of addiction, you are a powerful mofo.

With me today is the diet junkE Tanya Silva, how are you?
I’m great. Thank you so much.
Yeah, I love the the title, you want to give a little background on that?
Yeah, sure. I’m actually in the midst of rebranding mental health through fitness. However, diet junkie was created, actually part of the whole recovery process. And if you notice junkie is spelled JUNKE. And there’s no I in it. So it’s taking the eye out of the ping pong, yo, yo, going back and forth. space of the diet, dieting and the weight cycling and stuff like that. So that’s how that name was created. And actually, how it really was created because I did want diet junkie with the AI in there. But the domain was $250,000. And I’m like, these people are crazy. I’m having dinner. $50,000. So then I was like, What if I take the eye out, because technically, that’s the whole point of it. So then I dip out and it was $9 and 97 cents. So there, he was created.
That’s funny, I had a similar situation with my first company rush tech support. When I was coming up with the name, I just listed out like 100 different names, and then went to GoDaddy, and checked all of them against it. Like I think initially, the name was going to be like, infinity tech support. And it was like $10,000, I was like, let’s try a different one. Now. It’s cool, though, how the universe kind of takes that though, and the symbolism and meaning behind it, where I think having it without the I actually, you know, with the background of it, where you’re taking the eye out of the situation. I think that’s a really cool story. And you can you can just play it off. Like That was my intention all along, not to say
I like to share also like the truth behind it, because like, it’s important that people don’t get so frustrated, especially those of us that are like perfectionist and we want things to be done. 100% is just just keep showing up and just to try a couple different things. And so, I think it’s also good to share, like the truth, bind it to some people like okay, I don’t feel so bad about myself, you know?
Yeah, and I don’t think I’ve ever shared this on the podcast, but the initial name of the show was actually entrepreneurs in recovery. And when I google the name, person who ended up being a guest and introduced me to a ton of people, Jesse Harless, he is a recovery coach, and he owns the domain entrepreneurs and recovery. And I emailed him, I was like, Hey, can I call my podcast entrepreneurs and recovery? He’s like, No. He’s like, well, I kind of have this whole thing started. So what am I going to do? And he’s like, I don’t know, like, figure it out. And I was like, Okay, fine. And I spent weeks trying to figure it out. So the first couple episodes, it was recorded as entrepreneurs in recovery. And then we had called it successful, sober people. And it was kind of a tongue twister. And after I spent all the this time and all this energy for weeks, trying to come up with the perfect name, day after day, just kind of banging my head against the wall. And it wasn’t even like rush tech support. Whereas like, I needed like a $10 domain. I just needed a name that wasn’t taken. And eventually I $10,000
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I wasn’t gonna go that far. We already had the the coaching domain, but yeah, just gave up and I went on Fiverr. And for seven bucks, some dude in India was like, self made and sober. I was like, run it. Let’s do that.
Awesome. Wow, I gotta get on there.
Yeah, so moral, the story, don’t try to be creative. Just spend $7 and some guy in India will take care of it for you. And I’ve gotten more compliments on this name than probably anything that I’ve put together.
You know, it all works out for the best and even for the rebranding of what I’m doing is mental health or fitness. I literally just one day drove to Miami with isn’t our way. And this guy’s like,
I just randomly met this person who’s a producer. And he does film and movie he goes, You are mental health or fitness. And at first I got really offended. I’m like, What are you trying to say? And then I was like, Wait a second, he has something here because I feel like I’ve outgrown diet junkie. And then it just the evolution of the mental health or fitness just came because somebody said something. And it was like, Okay, cool. So it does all work out for the better. It’s wonderful how there will just be opportunities in your life, that it just seems innocuous at the time where it’s just like, someone said this one thing, and then the snowball effect of it. I know for myself, one of the big turning points in my company. Early days, a friend called me I remember I saw the I saw the phone ringing and I was like, This guy always wants something. And I was considering screening it. But I wasn’t busy at the time I answered the phone. He’s like, Hey, I got a job hanging some pictures at this lady’s house. Can you give me a ride? I’ll give you 30 bucks. I was like, Okay, sure. And that woman like completely transformed my business and like, change it from a side hustle to like a real thing. And it’s, it’s wild how these little random occurrences can just have gigantic impacts on everything, the whole trajectory of our life. Like I look at that single moment, as the moment that changed it from just Andrew in his living room fixing computers to what eventually became a company with dozens of employees and 10s of thousands of customers. And just, it’s been a crazy journey.
That’s so cool.
So shifting gears, you got sober in 2006, what’s going on in your life a little before that to make you decide, this is something that I want to do? Or was life just perfect? And you were like, you know, maybe I’ll just try getting sober?
I think that’s a great question. I think what a lot of people don’t realize is addiction is just a heavy attachment to something to get us through an intense triggered emotion. And so whatever that substance of choice is, is really just whatever you find on a cellular level you attached to. And so a lot of those attachments stem from childhood, you know, a lot of the things when you’re a kid, you just don’t have access to alcohol or drugs or large amounts of going to the store and bingeing on food or whatever you’re doing. For me it and most people I think in a space of coming from a space of addiction or heavy attachment is this mental disorders stem from childhood, because we’re not taught how to handle our intense emotions. So when it really manifested into the physical was after I did my first bikini competition, and I had just used food and alcohol and a way to know myself because I had some really got into a space of depression. And so I was healthy. I had competed, I had really leaned out and then all of a sudden after the show, I’m like, Okay, now what, like shit, like, now what, what am I doing, and then it just this wave of depression and anxiety and these intense emotions just escalated. Most people have them but they’re not just face of like a complete, like bam, in your face impact like escalations unless a life event occurs. And so after my first bikini competition, it hit and it does hit for most people. And these are the side effects that people don’t tell you in the bodybuilding industry. And, and I think now it’s more so of an awareness. And so I just like use food and alcohol and numb to myself. And it just kind of escalated. But, you know, it was just because I was never really taught how to handle anger, defeat sadness, anxiety, depression in a healthy way. And so I turned to substance because they gave me that instant gratification, which, you know, to give everybody instant gratification in that time. And so it just got completely out of control for probably a good a good year.
And when you first started, were there any consequences early on? Or was it just sort of, Hey, I found something that seems to be working.
Yeah, so I mean, there’s a little bit more to that story, of course, could be so many different side roads. So um, during that time, also, I was in college, and I played ice hockey for nine years. So I was an athlete as well. But when I had transitioned from being this athlete, that was a part of my identity for so long, I had been had competing and training and then using, you know, the dieting stuff in the bikini industry as that substitution. And then I was like, oh, shoot, now I don’t have hockey, and now I don’t have this. So then, where do I go from there. But also, during that time, what I’m getting to is, I come from a space of family substance abusers. And during that time, my dad had had major back surgery with this back surgery he got, he got hooked on painkillers, oxy cotton, probably cocaine, I mean, I really don’t know, because I was away during that time. So we grew up from a family of wealth, and all of that wealth was then taken from us. So you know, competing, then that hitting then the family crumbling, all the money being gone, there was so many factors happening all at once that I couldn’t understand. And the whole reality was just like taken. So I didn’t really have anything. And the consequence was like, not for the physical space, I had gained, you know, 65 pounds, after people start binge eating what the side effect is, because you fill your body just with so much food that you you literally can’t take on anymore. I then started skin picking to get that form of like, instant relief that, you know, euphoria. And a lot of people that are binge eaters, and like compulsive binge eaters, they actually then have a lot of not acne, but skin picking. So it’s almost like whether it being cutting, which is another form of addiction cutting, or skin picking. It’s still a form of like cutting and self abuse. So a lot of myself was more from a space of that.
So when you’re going through all that in your life, what’s going on in your head? Are you just like, I know, for myself, I was just feeling completely defeated at the end of my addiction and alcoholism and just kind of a what’s the point? What’s going on in your head?
Yeah, so during that time, and like I said, I was probably 1718 years old whenever things really started manifesting into the physical, so still a baby, you know, and and I just, I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was like, I don’t know what’s wrong, me. Something’s wrong with me. And I tried to tell my mom and she’s like, nobody talked about addiction, even though it was so heavily like my, my grandfather lost everything from addiction, they were super wealthy from alcohol. It was literally a family heritage, I had no idea about and I didn’t even know till probably like, I don’t know, 10 years after of, you know, my own addiction. And I like it was it’s embarrassing, it’s embarrassing. You don’t want to tell anybody, I mean, I’m gonna I’m in a sorority, I’m around other, like females, I’m around people like you don’t want to you don’t want to be seen. You don’t want to be heard. You just want to, like, get into the space of like a hermit and pretend like everything’s like, okay. But I was aware that there was something wrong. I didn’t know because I had never even heard of the word addiction before. And so I remember when I was I went back to school, and I was in school and I went to like a counselor, I was like, I think there’s something wrong with me. And I think the biggest thing is a lot of people go in and what you know, I try to coach people on is like, there’s nothing wrong with you, you don’t need to be fixed, you’re not broken, you just have a toolbox that isn’t in alignment to how, you know, you, you want to function operate and show up in life. And so if you substitute that toolbox with other things that serve you, you’ll be able to function and thrive in life and not be, you know, an addict. And so she gave me this book on mindfulness, and meditation, and that my you know, the way that I started to recover was very unconventional, like I didn’t, I didn’t go like that was the only place really I went to she just kind of and then I started getting into books, as you’re getting into yoga, I always was exercising, I always felt exercise was such a powerful tool, even though my relationship around food and alcohol was very unhealthy and very like abusive. Exercise was just always a tool to still give you that, you know, feel good feeling and reconnect with yourself. And that’s why the whole company model completely made sense when the guy said mental health, your fitness, and I’m like, amazing, you know, like, it really is very powerful.
So what are some of the books that you recommend to your clients? As far as getting the proper toolbox in place?
Well, that’s it’s hard to say it’s like, what’s the best ad exercise? You know? Like, it depends, like, do you have rotator cuff issues? Do you have like hip replacements, can you even get to the ground with your knees? I mean, there’s not, there’s not to say when one all be all because I feel like, especially with my journey, and just also being around other people is that it comes in layers, it doesn’t happen overnight. And it’s about dis attachment, that’s addiction is just about a heavy attachment to something. And if we can just realize that then and we have to in order to be successful with overcoming it, you have to replace it with something of equal or greater value, or else you’re always going to stay in this gray space your entire life. So you there have a red space and grace. See, it’s like a light system. So I say you have a red light, which is like our and addiction and it’s too late, you have a yellow space, which is how most people are operating and functioning these days, like people who don’t think they need help. And then you have a green space and people that are thriving, they’re doing well, they know they’re in control of their emotions, they know how to set set them, like not put themselves in spaces that like will trigger them or they know they’re just in control of their emotions, they’re in there mentally healthy, they’re physically healthy, and they’re emotionally stable. And so um, you know, it’s hard to answer that because I feel like people need different things during different times. But I will suggest that self care has to be a non negotiable. And what I mean by self care is I mean, you need to start exercising exercises main placement is to quiet the chaos of the mind, it’s not even about the body, it’s about taking care of your body so you can reclaim your emotional state. And just quiet that chaos of whatever triggered emotion it may be. Second, you got to clean up your eating. And, and what I mean by this is food can really create mental disturbances as well. And emotional instability, like depression, anxiety, create night terrors affect your sleep. We don’t think that we think about food as like just looking great. And having six pack abs like no man like this is about your mental health, your emotional stability. And it reverses so many mental you know, dis ease is like uneasiness. And then the third is really taking your sleep serious and making it a non negotiable because your sleep affects everything it affects if you have energy to do your workouts, and it affects your your hormones, and it affects your eating choices. So I mean, if you can really get those three things down as far as like self care, you can really get into a space where like, she could just not only function as quote unquote, normal because I know that’s one of the goals for most people coming out of recovery, or like coming out of a day and getting more into recovery. But I don’t even like using the word recovery. I’m like, I’m just freaking thriving in life. You know, I’m extraordinary. I’m because what you say is so, so powerful. So I guess you want to answer your question about a book. Eventually, within my coaching programs, I do always suggest one main book and it is the hidden messages in water. Don’t ask me to how to pronounce this guy’s name, because I do not want to butcher it. But the hidden messages as well in water really is able to take like that fluffy stuff of affirmations and really show how it affects us on a cellular level.
It was that I just pulled up on Google real quick. I think I have the right person Massaro moto.
Yeah, I didn’t say you did not pronounce correctly, that I don’t take credit for it.
I know for for myself. And I know for a lot of the listeners, we’re always looking for, like golden nugget. That’s silver bullet. And I think, in general in life, it’s a lot more about the process and continuing on a journey. More so than Well, I read this book. And now I’m a successful entrepreneur, like I don’t think there’s ever going to be a single book or a single resource, like you said, a single exercise. I think that’s a great analogy. Because I know a lot of times people think they’re just one course away. They’re one great idea away, they’re just one moment. And I mean, we were discussing earlier, there are just completely random events that shift our entire lives. But I’m trying to think in my life, if there was something where I was like, once I do this, then everything will be okay. I know I’ve had that negotiation in my head before. But I don’t know if there’s ever been a time where that is played out the way that I thought it would, I know when I was younger it was once I graduate college, then everything will be fine. And then it was once I get a job, everything will be fine. And then as once the recession’s over, then everything will be fine. Once it’s it was a constant, looking forward for the future. Because once the future comes, then everything will be okay. And in the meantime, I wasn’t putting forth any effort, any actions into changing my current situation, I was just being the victim. And I know that once I got into the self development space, and once I started making an effort on taking care of the things that I can control, and focusing on things like health, wellness, mindfulness, all these things that we’re talking about, once I started making incremental steps in that direction, I feel like it’s a once I’ve been doing this for a couple months, a couple years, I can see a huge difference between where I was when I started, and where I currently am at. But I don’t think that there’s just a I read this book. Now my life’s different. I think that it can be a catalyst. I think it can introduce you to some ideas. But I mean, I’ve read about 5 million books on like business million books on wealth generation, and I’ve learned a ton. But I can’t say that there was any one nugget of knowledge that I read in one sentence, that completely changed my life. So I like that you put disclaimer, on
Yeah, and I think what what you’re saying too, is like the greatest thing about like, when you’re always about when this happens, you’re in a space of futuristic thinking. And when you’re in a space of futuristic thinking, the emotion that’s primarily triggered is anxiety. So you’re constantly in a space of struggling with this battle, the anxiety, anxiety is a trigger emotion, which we want to numb or pacify. And that’s where we stay stuck in this cycle, because there’s got to be a behavior to self soothe the anxiety because people can’t be functioning like that. So they go to pills, or they go to alcohol, or they go to food, you know, food is food is the number one mostly abused substance and you need it to survive. So it’s not like you can just, you know, get off of it. And another thing is, when you get into the space of knowing like the right thing for you at the right time. It comes down to trusting yourself. But we have multiple layers and versions of ourselves. So how can we call we operate from that space of our best self. And that comes from learning how to take care of ourselves. So yeah, you know, but the hidden messages and water just brings insight on we are 70% water, and our words of if you are constantly repeating, I am a binge eater, I am an alcoholic, you’re never going to get out of that yellow space, you’re never going to be out of that vulnerable space, you’re never going to thrive out of your life because say, I am frickin like thriving I am or if you don’t believe that which there was a space where I didn’t believe that and I got angry about it. I’m in the process of I’m in the process of becoming healthy. I’m in the process of becoming building a, you know, seven, eight figure business I’m in the process of, you know, so at least that kind of like that’s another layer of things. But yeah, it’s a trusting yourself to know what you need at the right time. But if you don’t trust yourself, that’s where you hire out coaches that you trust to get you from where you are to where you want to be. And that’s where we come in.
So do you think the idea of affirmations instead of the kind of stop lying to yourself? I know there’s there’s different points of view. And I’m curious of your view on the affirmations. where it’s like, I am 100 billionaire. I am someone that has six pack abs even though they’re 500 pounds and can’t walk? What are your thoughts on the exaggeration, ridiculousness? Because and and I’ll be honest, I’m sure a lot of people know the story, Jim Carrey wrote himself a check in the future. And I think it was like for $10 million. And then on that date, or around that date, he got the role for Dumb and Dumber. And that check was able to get cached. Yeah. And I had done a much, much smaller amount, but a number that I never think thought I’d be able to hit and actually was able to achieve that. And then then the next one that I did, like one year later was 50 times that number, and that that didn’t even come close, and the date came and it’s just like, well, I guess these ridiculous things don’t work. So what’s your view on affirmations? And how do you set them? How do you get them in the right path.
So I think going back to that book will help give insight on like, what happens on a cellular level, most people go around all day really negative about themselves. And there’s my first the first thing that I teach when I work with somebody is it’s called creating your North Star creating your power words. And we narrow it down to five, five represents change. So like in numerology stuff, and there’s truth behind it, because you can’t be at two places at the same time, you have to choose one, most people are so focused on where they don’t want to be that they’re constantly recreating patterns and putting themselves in the same situation, because they’re taking all their passion, all their energy, all their commitment all their drive. And they’re just focusing on spaces of what they don’t want and where they don’t want to be. So the whole concept of affirmations and placing your energy on a space of where you want to go, whether you believe it or not, you’re at least shifting, looking to the left of all of this stuff of what you don’t want and where you’re at and how you hate life and how you’re depressed and this and that, like, Okay, we got it. Like that’s so much energy, passion drive commitment, that if we take that those same qualities that you have, because people have and they’re just focusing in a direction that’s out of alignment to where they want to be, and they place it over to the right, where, okay, let me take all that stuff, which, if you come from a space of addiction, you are a powerful mofo, because you have laser focus, you have this drive, you have this commitment, you just have all these qualities. So you can take all those attributes and generate it to a space, and just create laser focus on that space of whether building a business, or like getting yourself really healthy. And you just generate all that stuff into the other space, like then you can start moving. And that’s why those powerful things happen. But if you’re constantly repeating something, or you’re you’re identifying yourself as something you used to be, there’s no you know, if you think about the word emotion, and you, you separate it from E, and then the M, it’s E, motion, energy drives motion, and that’s how it really is. So whatever passion or whatever you have, you have to drive in a direction of ultimately where you want to go and start focusing in on that. And so that’s one of the first things I get clear on one night when I work with students is we really develop these more stars. And then we look up the words, what am I saying? Is this really where I want to go. And even if you don’t know, and you don’t have that certainty, because most people struggle with certainty and self trust, even if you don’t have that, that’s okay. Because at least if you just show up, regardless of your emotional state, you’re never going to truly know because knowledge comes from experience, the only way to truly know something is by doing it. So by the time you get to that space, then you can make the decision. You know what I thought this was gonna make me happy, but it actually didn’t. But you know what, at least I build up the confidence and self belief that I can actually achieve it. And then I can course correct,
I think it’s a great idea to that. You get the confidence from the experience of doing something. I think it’s like Gary Vee, he says something like, you’re not going to get ripped by reading about push ups, you have to be doing the exercise. It’s not about reading up on how to properly execute this thing. And to do a ton of research. It’s about getting in there making mistakes, in course, correcting exactly like you’re saying, if the person who’s showing you the way hasn’t been there themselves, it’s very difficult.
don’t hire them.
Do not hire people who have not overcome what you are trying to overcome.
And that’s like the basis of 12 step recovery is, Hey, I was an addict. And now I’m not an addict. Let me show you how I did this. And they make an analogy. It’s like you’re down in a hole. And all the doctors, your family friends there at the top telling you, you need to go this way, you need to do this, you need to do that. And another addict alcoholic is the only person who’s qualified to jump in and say, I’ve been in this hole before. Here’s how I got out. And the idea that we’re showing someone the way, when we’ve been in their same shoes, it gets a lot of confidence from that person. Because I’ve had before my wedding a couple years ago, I had spoken to a friend who I knew, and he was a personal trainer. And he was like, Yeah, come to the gym, I’ll get you squared away. And I was like, Okay, cool. And I show up and he’s like, Look, I’ll be honest with you, I’m booked completely, I’m not going to be able to do this, however, talk to this guy. And the guy. He knew his stuff, I’ll give him that, but he wasn’t in the best shape. And I’ll give credit where credit’s due the accountability and the motivation to show up. He did get me the results that I was looking for. But at the same time, it was like, Well, I mean, you, you have the knowledge, but you’re not applying it yourself. You don’t have the things that I want in yourself. And that’s why I think business coaching for myself when I’m working with entrepreneurs who are just starting out. And you know, they’re, they’re in the level of approaching six figures. And they’re in the spot of this is more money than I’ve ever made previously. But this is way beyond anything that I’ve ever accomplished before. I don’t know how to break through six figures, or even start thinking about seven, or even eight. And I’ve been in that exact spot. Yeah. So when I’m speaking to them, it’s not from a place of I read this in a book, go try it and tell me what happens. It’s when I was in your shoes, I was in this hole, here is how I got out. And it’s it’s almost easy to be coaching on things that you’ve accomplished yourself. Because it’s like, yeah, I’m, I’m just re watching the movie that I’ve already watched, I’m telling you what happens because this was my journey. And when the industries are similar, it’s not super, super difficult to recreate results when it’s based on a system. Because we may have different services. But there’s a lot of things that are parallels in a service industry that you can build, and you can scale. And once you get past that mindset of I don’t know how to do this, I can’t do this. But you hire a coach. And they say, I used to think the same way that you’re thinking, here’s what I did to get what I have.
Yeah, and here’s what I see that you’re not seeing. And the good thing too is like, you know, everybody has a road, but within each road, there are and I talked about this in my nutrient like roadmap course that there’s side roads, maybe there’s emotional hunger, maybe it’s a cultural background, spiritual belief system at the genetic, you gotta roll, but you gotta hold these crossroads. And as a coach, and being from that space, I can fast track somebody, you can fast track somebody and save them. If I spent probably $85,000, the last six years trial and error trying to build my business, and certifications, different degrees to enhance my practice and skill set as a coach. And then you get to space, you’re like shit I have to unlearn. I have to unlearn some stuff. But I learned my experience from there. And you can save people so much, you know, people think like, Oh, $2,000 is a lot like $85,000 $2,000 is not a lot. And it took me over six years. So if I can get it get you where you want to be in, let’s say like six to eight months, depending how much reframing we have to do and how much attachment you have, maybe to a year for it to be a lifestyle. And every year, you’re becoming better, and you have the tools. And it’s maybe like a couple thousand dollars, like, please don’t complain to me,
here’s another way to look at it, too. If you want to make a million dollars, I’ve got it, you get a job paying $25,000 a year, you don’t spend a single penny, and in 40 years, you will have made $1 million. There you go, you spent 40 years and you earn that 1 million. But what if I told you, if you spent $2,000, I’ll get you there in two years, would that $2,000 be worth 38 years of savings, to fast track that. And I think we also just as humans, we definitely discount the fact that time is something that is not something we can regenerate. It’s not something that we have an endless supply of. So money is something that is a renewable resource, and it can fluctuate. But time and I mean, if we’re not going to get into like the theory of relativity, and like traveling at the speed of light and all that stuff, but like time on Earth, that every person experiences, it has a start and an end, and there’s no pausing. So if you want to get the results that you want to achieve in as little time as possible, hiring a coach, it’s not only just an investment, but you’re saving yourself, agony, and all of the problems that come down the road and you give yourself opportunity. And it’s a lot of things. I hate diving down this hole, but it’s a lot of the school system, it teaches you go work for somebody else, get a job, get a degree, and then you get into the real world. And it’s like nothing You taught me actually applies to real life. And now I’ve got real life things like a mortgage and credit cards and taxes that everybody experiences. But no one’s been taught anything. It’s like, well, aren’t we going to talk about like dates of the Civil War? Like that’s, that’s what I was taught in school. And it’s like, nope, that doesn’t matter in real life. It’s like, but then why do we spend so much time on it, it’s like, because it’s the school system. But the idea though, that you can spend a little extra money and eliminate headache, eliminate hardship, fast track to where you want to be. And then from that level, you know, if you have a business that’s generating millions and millions of dollars, to get an extra $2,000, is really easy. But it’s difficult when you’re at the beginning stage, and you don’t have the end result, to be able to see down the road. This is what life can look like, this is what life will look like, yeah, invest in yourself.
It’s about the quality of life. And as scary as it is, the more you lean into your fear, the more you build self belief and self confidence. And that’s the main reason why most people don’t step into things. And they do develop heavier addictions and attachments is because of the disappointment not with other people, but with their self. And the more that you actually show up and like we revert, you know, reverting back to the beginning of the conversation is, regardless of your emotional state, you have to realize your emotions are not reliable. And regardless of your emotional state, you have to stay true to your highest self, your best self, that self that you love that you admire that you respect, because it’s in there. But if you show up for that, and you invest in yourself, and the biggest thing which I’ve seen, because I’ve worked with multi billionaires, CEOs, I’m working with professional athletes right now, some a few celebrities with can’t name drop any because I do promise confidentiality. But even these, like billionaires that look like they have it all together, there’s some of the most saddest people. And it’s because they built all this stuff. And they made all this money and, but they have and enjoyed the process and the quality of the life and they and they’ve worked so hard and getting back to the whole self care segment as, as you’re building your your business, you can’t lose yourself along the way. You have to your business is your business, literally, there is no business without you. So if you’re showing up at 60% 70% 80%, even 90%, you’re only doing yourself and other people a disservice. So by putting your oxygen mask on first and and carving out time, like you have to keep yourself as top priority. And what that means is take care of your body. When you take care of your body and take care of your mind and reclaim control over your emotional state. That’s simple foundation.
So what are some of the strategies that you implement for people that say, have terrible eating habits and are constantly stressed, I know now I’m now I’m going to be trying to get it as much as I can. For myself.
So the first thing that I always recommend to people is I have a 21 day habit reframing reset course. And it’s literally just getting on schedule, getting on a sleep schedule, getting on an exercise schedule, and getting on a food schedule. When you have this like platform, this blueprint, then you can plug in the What’s with the platform has to be set in stone, it has to be a non negotiable and you have to think of yourself care as like a slingshot, I’m in this group called 90 x which there’s a it’s it’s going to be huge in the next year, but 90 x planner, their planners, and I’m the self care coach on there. And if you think about it, you’re it’s a slingshot and you pull back in order to scale forward in every other segment of your life. And so it has to be a non negotiable. And I think the biggest thing is just getting in your mind, like I am top priority. And when I when I’m top priority, and I take care of myself, everything else benefits everything else, my my for you for your wife, your kids, your business, your company, every conversation because you’re not showing up tired or burnt out, because that’s actually a whole different subject we can go on, you’re showing up fully alive and and generating energy, there’s power behind your interactions, your workflow, your, whatever you’re doing, there’s energy, there’s a lightness, there’s momentum behind everything. And that comes from you recharging you, nobody else can do that for you. So the first thing is just getting on schedule and making it a non negotiable until you start to prove to yourself like we talked about earlier, just show up. And you’ll see you’ll see that this is truth that that when you show up for you, like you have more energy for like I don’t have energy, because you’re not moving. There’s no circulation, there’s no oxygen flow, your brain is like please give me oxygen, your joints hurt because there’s a lack of snowmobile fluids, like please give me movement because that’s where I’ll heal your body. So powerful, has to be a non negotiable.
So I’ve personally been on a pretty good regimen in the last couple months, my wife and I, we’ve been doing five K’s and other races and stuff getting getting back into shape, eating healthier and things like that. But today, for instance, I woke up, I got ready to run did my morning routine. And it was kind of drizzling. And I talked myself out of it. What do we do on days like that, where today I talked myself out of it. Like that’s the the truth behind it. I’ve got my workout clothes on. I was ready to go. And then it was a little wet outside. And it was like, Well, I guess I can’t take care of myself today because it’s raining. What What advice would you give to if if I were speaking to you this morning at 530,
I would say winning to get you on a program. So the biggest thing to you just like food is you if you only have one option, you have no option really. And you have to have like when I work with my students, we come up with at least four different things to cycle through strength training, I believe to be the foundation because you get to work on the little muscles, you get to work on the big muscles, you get to have mobility functionality, you know, like all that stuff, like I focus more on functional strength training you know clearly work with athletes and but I train people like athletes because the the overall point is for you know you to just thrive. So you have to have options of stuff a home workout, you know, home strength training workout, or if you have a gym membership, you go the gym, but you don’t have to go to the gym to do workouts. I have a whole YouTube channel, which I do 10 minute no time workouts for my, you know, CEOs that travel and they’re like home in the hotel room, I can’t do anything. I was like, Yes, you can. Here you go, here’s your video. You can do stuff. But the and of course, depending on your injuries, things to work around, but there’s so many things and getting back to that is where you say, Okay, okay, I can’t do this. But what can I do? And this is where you have to have that second part of the equation, okay, I can’t do this. But what can I do. And then you create a toolbox, we create, I say the word toolbox a lot, because you got you got to have more than one tool in your box for exercise for food, you know, modalities to help enhance quality sleep.
I think that is the golden nugget of golden nuggets. Like as you were saying that. It’s just running through my brain. And that’s just I think the selfishness of just like humans, for you say, Well, if you have one option, you have no options. And then I’m balancing that against every aspect of my life. And it’s like, oh, my God, that’s, that is so profound. I don’t think I I’ve probably heard it 700,000 times. But just maybe with it raining this morning. You’re absolutely right. There were a million options. My wife has a gym membership. We have a Bowflex in the garage, we’ve got YouTube on the TV for hit workouts and for your no time workouts, which I wasn’t aware of. And I’m going to be visiting immediately after this. Because now I’m pumped and motivated and and want to
I like 10 minutes, I can do 10 minutes.
And that doesn’t only just apply for these micro situations of Oh, I don’t feel like exercising today. But I think of if it goes into my business and marketing and when people say we don’t spend money on marketing, we have 100% referrals. That’s how our business goes. If you have one option, you have no options. If that dries up for an instant you’re done. And I’ve experienced that
Yeah, you got all your you got one side road but what if I there’s a detour and you got one road? You got no side roads? Like how are you going to get to where you want it to be? You got to have options and not just two options. You gotta have multiple options because for example with the one of the lines of the work that I do, holidays happen vacations happen, life crisis happens. How do I keep my people mentally, physically and emotionally and nutritionally healthy and thriving? We got it here. Oh, this is what’s going on. Bam, here you go solution. I got this bam, he goes. And then everything cycles, everything cycle. So
is the key putting systems in place before the stimulus comes. So for instance, if I had my workout Regiment, for I wake up in the morning, go outside and run, but if I had planned before, if it is raining, then I do this. Is that the strategy you have the plan beforehand? Or what does that look like?
Yeah, so getting back to the the 21 day habit reframing like reset kicks, start course wherever people want to use words, whatever word resonates with you. We when we work on the exercise segment, we start to identify the body’s movement patterns. So everybody has a neat movement patterns. And I go back to childhood like did you play any sports when you grew up? Did you? Have you done anything that you were actually really enjoy doing? Like a lot of people you said, I have the hit I have the Bowflex? I have the gym. Do you know how to use the machines in the gym? Do you enjoy using the machines that you know how to use in the gym? Does your body enjoy them? But the Bowflex? Do you know how to work it correctly without getting hurt, and then hit workouts g7 like doing hit workout, you will never catch me doing a hit workout. because number one, I’ve got so many things going on. The last thing I want to do is jumping in an impact. I played nine years of ice hockey, I like gliding and flowing things. I like keyboard work and dumbbells. Every movement coming back to mental health or fitness is connection to breath. When you’re completely connected to your breath, and you’re going through space of an anxiety attack, or you’re getting just base of power, depression and triggered things happen a phone call happens. You know, let me use the most extreme case scenario when a woman gives birth what but besides you know, the epidural stuff, what do you do to prep for it breath work. So breathing connection of breath when you’re doing exercises, and you’re like, I use my breath, like I connected to the whole point of access to connect to that breath. So when you get back to the point of and I’m talking about a lot right now, when you get the connection of breath is more to give you the peace of mind to bring you in the present moment. that’s a that’s a connection to the breath. And you’re like huffing and puffing and doing high intense exercises coming to the to the audience that we’re speaking to right now. It’s you usually you need to calm down. So how do I learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable, you need to slow your breath down. So by doing high intensity stuff, it’s going to increase your cortisol level maybe trigger more stuff. But you know, I could be wrong, each individual’s different. But coming back to the beginning of what’s right, what’s your ideal movement pattern, and then starting to create exercises and options around that, you know, a lot of the things that I do is I get to the core and then to the end, and then we work backwards. So that’s how the toolbox is created.
If you had to pick one or two key things that you have done, that have led to your success, what would you say those are?
I showed up regardless of how I felt,
period, everything that I’m doing, I’m so scared.
I’m so scared. But I know that I lean into it. And when I lean into it, I know I’m on the right track. And anything that I’m complacent with, I know I have to move because I’m lonely. It’s just going to hurt me. You know, I’m not living, I’m settling. And that’s when you really die. Truly like your soul dies. You’re not you’re alive, but you’re not living.
For someone that’s got 13 years sober. What would you say is one of the biggest things that has helped you stay sober all this time.
being of service to others, you have to be of service to others you have when you when stuff is so so intense, you have to number one, take care of yourself, always make that a non negotiable. Never, when you start taking care of yourself, you lose yourself. And that’s when you go down the rabbit hole. So no matter what, but also come to a space of service volunteer my career really, really helped my healing process. Because when I was in that space, I had to decide I’m like, Who am I I’m 65 pounds overweight, I’m struggling with with addiction. I have no control over food, who am I to become a personal trainer, because that’s where I started as doing just personal training, and then end up doing life coaching and made this hybrid of life coaching nutrition and training style and then build online courses and stuff like that. But being a service and coaching, I’m affirming things that I wholeheartedly know, but I have to just get caught up with that. And so put yourself in a space in an environment where it’s healthy for you in the long run. Regardless of asking yourself who am I to do this? It just it will just heals it reconnects you to who you already truly are. Wow.
And what piece of actionable advice would you have for listeners who are trying to improve their business or even their personal life?
One thing that I always say is one of my taglines is self care is the gateway to self mastery, and self mastery when you really master yourself that truly is success to everything in anything that you do in your life. So self care has to be a non negotiable.
Danny have there have been so many gold nuggets throughout this whole podcast? I’m so excited to get this out to the listeners. This has been such an incredible experience. I’m really, really grateful that Michael got us got us connected. And where can people find you online?
So I have a website but like I said, everything’s been rebranded It’s www.tanyasilva.com, social media at diet junkie YouTube, but I do send out free newsletters that are really really powerful every Monday at 8pm. So if you sign into the website, put your name and email, you’ll receive them and then other information they can get from there.
Guys, be sure to check out Tanya and everything that she’s putting out. And thank you so much for being on the self made and sober podcast. I really appreciate your time.
Thank you so much for having me.

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