Mark Crandall – Incarcerated in Drugs, Free in Recovery

I’ve honestly I’m just going to come right out x rated. I don’t believe you’re setting good goals if you’re assholes not getting tight.
Welcome to self-made and sober. I’m your host Andrew Lassise with And in this podcast, it’s my job to interview people who are not only crushing it and business but have also struggled with addiction in the past and are in long term recovery. Be sure to join our Facebook group, where we help entrepreneurs grow and scale their business like self-made coaching mastermind. I hope you enjoy the show and be sure to subscribe and rate the show afterward so you can get notified each Friday when we put out a new episode.
With me, today is such a treat. I have Mark Crandall mark is a speaker mark is an author Mark is a podcaster. Mark is a transformational coach. Mark does it all. He has an incredible story to share. And I’m just so excited to jump into it. Mark, how are things going? Things are great. So Mark you’ve been sober since 2007. Is that correct? That is correct. August 23, 2007.
Perfect. Why don’t you give us sort of a background of what your life was like growing up and what led to you getting sober? Yeah. So I have like a starting point, my story and that’s kind of where I start even when I’m speaking from the stage it’s, it’s where I start. So yeah, at age three, I was taken by DC if my sister was nearly drowned in a bathtub and my grandmother who we were staying with at the time, my bio mom
My sister and I were staying with called the state. So my grandmother was in a cop collar. So she was she had some great concern. So she called the state the state took custody of my sister first and then my mom kidnapped me and took me to New York to try to avoid them taking custody of me. They finally got me I was placed in the same foster home that my sister was placed in. And that’s just I mean, in a nutshell, that that was my childhood, a lot of instability, a ton of confusion. I didn’t know it any of this man. My sister didn’t know it any of this man. There were visits back the first visit that we had back to go see my bio mom was on Christmas I ended up getting handcuffed and locked in a closet. My sister got thrown down the stairs. My sister has cerebral palsy as well just to kind of paint a picture she had casts on her legs at the time she just had surgery. And I just remember being a confused angry
Lost little boy. And as a result of being burned with cigarettes and my mom taking off for days and leaving my sister and I an apartment alone at the age of three and five, there are just memories that were burned into my brain that just caused this great confusion. And essentially, that led to me finding drug addictions or drugs and alcohol and quieting my mind, which is all I really ever wanted to do was to shut my mind up so that I could get some relief.
So in a nutshell, at seven years old, I had all the traits of a serial killer. I was killing animals setting fires, assaulting people, I was a lunatic little kid and my counselor at the time this man you know, Dr. Atkins suggested that my adoptive parents cliff and Orly file a chins petition on me and children.
petition in New Hampshire is a child in need of services. It’s basically you asked the state to come in to take retake custody of delinquent youth and they did and they place me and group homes to get rehabilitated and but what I actually got was educated on sex, drugs and rock and roll. And so when I came out two and a half, three years later, I was more educated, how to obtain substances that would make me feel the way that I was trying to feel any kind of paint a picture of how I thought things went and how most of our society thinks that things ago I when I came out of the first group home or the three group homes when I came out of my group, I was going to send my first thing stay incarcerated. I asked my mom to buy me dress clothes to go back to school so I had like khaki pants and dress shoes and polo shirts and on the outside, I new haircut and
On the outside, I looked like a completely new person. On the inside, this Inferno was just burning. And
I didn’t get any relief until this kid named Jamie who was like my best friend in high school invited me over to his house to smoke gravity bongs after school. At the time. I had smoked a couple of times, but not like we did this day. We ended up getting annihilated I fell in love with it. I received a great deal of relief internally. And just like I chased it, I don’t need to, you know, beat a dead horse, as far as addictions concerned, but it escalated. I was homeless from 18 to 22 years old. In and out I’ve done seven years of my life incarcerated than to two years in county jail, two years in prison and then three years in group homes and between heroin addiction
At this time, heroin Yeager Meister and Ben’s with a mix of cocaine when it was free. I’m a downer guy. So I was really, really always on a mission to shut my mind up. I don’t understand those that want to speed their mind up. I just don’t get it. It’s just me. I mean, I work with them. I you know, I provide intervention services for families, so I know how to navigate it, but I just don’t understand it. Like who wants to stay up all night with a notebook talking about the Great Escape, right? I don’t, I want to, I want to not out and burn myself and, and, and go to sleep. That’s all I ever wanted. So 18 years old. I’m about to graduate from high school and my little brother caught me stealing money from my adoptive mother’s purse. And he screamed into the shower to tell her I punched him in the mouth. She threw me out. I was homeless. From then on. And it just I mean, it got really dark. So you’re 18 to
22 while most kids are away from home, in college, a year away from home, homeless in that same time period, yeah, the painted dark picture, I was sleeping in cemetery kicking doors and at night to feed my addiction, like at 18. I was the kid that you didn’t like when you had a house party you didn’t want to invite because I would set your couch on fire steal your mom’s jewelry like I was a lunatic. And so I didn’t get invited to a lot of places, but yet I seem to find out about them and show up.
So I mean, with the childhood that you had, do you feel that there’s any sort of justification like obviously, there’s going to be a correlation. There’s just the stats show that you know, people that grow up in tumultuous situations, usually turn to drugs and alcohol. So do you think that sort of a Not, not to
Say, you know, you get to you get the excuse card. But do you think that you know, that’s kind of just sort of par for the course? I do believe that my childhood trauma and my upbringing definitely intensified the craving to get relief. So I definitely do believe that I don’t know of most adolescents at 13 years old that are eating sleeping pills before middle school and playing a game and just see if they could stay awake for English class. Like that’s just.
Now I was an absolute lunatic. So I honestly believe that there are some and I mean, science has proved it that the biological your biological upbringing plays a major role in potential addiction. Do I believe in the realm of the 12 steps and the fact that I suffered from
Spiritual malady a, you know, a loss of self absolutely subscribe to that as well, like I hated everything and everyone. So I don’t want to get too far into that. But I believe that we play this game of arguing about what’s actually wrong versus really looking for what the solution is. So with all of that chaos going on in your life, what was that aha moment where you were just like, I’m done.
Yeah, I made it. I made a face for those of you listening like you would think I would have had it multiple times throughout my story. But my you know, first time I was released from the county jail, like most recovery stories, I made this oath, I wasn’t going to do it again. I found God in the county jail. It was going to go out and I was going to do it was going to be great. I had no idea that there are individuals like living in long term recovery, didn’t even know what that meant. Thought that like recovery was you just got so
I had no idea that you know, the actual definition of recovery is like you rebuild your life, right? So, in my eyes, it’s just like, oh my god, I’m sober. I can I’m sober. I want to hit that person. I still want to rob people like what is going? What is wrong with me? And so I didn’t stay sober the first time. The second time, I was released from jail. And,
you know, I say that the New Hampshire state prison rehabilitated me because it did and why I say that is because they forced me to get my GED before they would parole me. Had I not come out of prison with a GED. I don’t know if I would still be here. And I’m just being straight. Honest. This isn’t like I’m not getting paid. I don’t have a sponsorship from the New Hampshire State President. Nothing, nothing like that. I just this episode is sponsored by the New Hampshire state prison. I mean, I’m open to having a conversation. My aha moment. I’m two weeks I’m in prison.
I’ve almost done my two-year minimum. And as part of my court order, I was mandated to go to this long term treatment center and it was 12 to 18 months therapeutic community. It’s rare to find them in the country now because most of them lost their funding but it was a state-funded facility. Most of the individuals there were court ordered. And you know, when you got in trouble you are washing pots and pans for 12 hours in a day or you’re outside cutting grass with scissors when I left that place look like a golf course. Just to let you know how much trouble I got. It was there it was. There wasn’t a piece of grass out of place.
Some two weeks from leaving prison. I used drugs the entire time I was in there. I did not draw a sober breath. I was sniffing antidepressants. We were doing heroin. We were smoking weed. And it was it in prison. It was a mess, right? Yeah, and
Prison. It was a mess. It was a constant party everyone was just like playing cabbage and skip Oh, and playing basketball getting high. So I’m two weeks away, I wake up one morning, I sit up on my bunk and I become riddled with fear. I know like your audience, those in recovery are going to have experience with us just riddled with fear. I’ve had these moments in my, in my recovery journey, and I just I sat up in bed and I had one of those What the fuck am I doing moments like what am I doing with my life? And everything? You know, everything flashed before my eyes. So my grandmother saying like, if you end up in the paper again, we’re going to disown you. My adopted father’s you know, telling my little brother to tell me to change my last name because I was a disgrace. Like, everything just flashed before me in this moment, and I just became a golf with fear. And so it’s 5am we’re getting ready yards getting ready to open so that we can walk to the chow hall and I walked to the chow hall and I fire off our
Prayer. And I don’t know what I’m talking to who I’m talking to. I’m not even thinking about that I’m not wrapped up in it. And I just say, if there’s something out there, please help me. And I’m two years into prison, you would have thought that this little cry for help would have came a long time ago. But it didn’t. And so I didn’t get any answers, which I got pissed off about, like I thought it was, you know, I literally thought God was like a 24 hour drive through and with 32nd service and,
and I’m walking back from the chow hall, and this thought hits me, and the thought was go to the one place in the library you’ve never been, and like, what-what the fuck does I mean? Like, you gotta give me some, like, give me some clear path here. I can’t do that. So I’m thinking about it, you know, to go back to the unit and you had to clean before the yard opened up again, before I could go to the library, which is literally where I lived. Most of the time I was in prison. I love literature. I love writing. And so I just read every book that I could to give you an idea. I read the handle
series in three days in prison, which is it’s four books. It’s pretty, it’s pretty, they’re pretty long. So, so that’s what I did. Because then books I got I got an escape from my mind and how I felt. So I walk it, you know, the art opens, I go to the library, I’m standing there. I’m like, What is the one place that I’ve never been? Like, I understand that there’s just one spot in the back of the library where there’s no camera where all the inmates want to do their dirt which the inmates that are still in there probably like Dude, shut up, bro. They’re gonna know.
And it was this happened to be ironically enough, the self-help spirituality section. I had not been there. The whole two years that I’d been in this facility hadn’t been there. And I walked back and looked upon the shelf. And there was a book that just stuck out to me goosebumps every time I share about it. And I picked it up because this man who was on the cover and he was wearing this orange and red robe with glasses on indeed a smile on his face like I had never seen before.
I’ve probably seen it, but you get what I’m saying when I say like, I’d never seen it like I had never viewed it fully. And this smile I was like, you know, when they say in recovery, like find somebody who has what you want, like for a long time, I thought that meant like a nice car, a wife who had nice fake boobs, like I had no idea. What I wanted was a smile, the smile that this man had on his face. I picked the book back, I went back to my unit, I read three-quarters of it that day. It was a book by the Dalai Lama. And that night I went, took my sleeping medication, wrapped a towel around my head and followed his steps of meditating. And what it looked like was me nodding out on sleeping pills with a towel wrapped around my head. But for the remaining two weeks, the inmates that were in my unit called me the Buddha, which was way better than things that I’d been called in the past. That was my aha moment. That was also the moment that changed the trajectory of my life. What I found
Was relief that you know the 12 step slash self help slash realm of the Spirit slash transformational work
was what I had been craving but I didn’t know that that’s what I had been craving because I thought like most of our society thinks that it was just going to happen to me like it was going to vicariously my whole life was going to change.
But in that moment of meditation, I know I’m preaching to the choir to you Andrew but like in that moment, I got relief.
And I chased it like any good drug addict would and I haven’t stopped this August will be 12 years and like I just haven’t stopped I’m an addict for self-help train I don’t believe in self-help but that’s the title that they gave I believe that all things happen from God or spirit or you know your higher self whatever I’m just I’m literally today I’m like a coexist bumper sticker and I’m just and I guess that was what that was the what it was like now
We can get into the more of the good, but yeah, like absolutely addicted to it. That’s so cool. So you took that moment of just nothing is going how it’s supposed to go. And you just took that little piece of inspiration intuition, God, whatever you want to call it. And then just completely I mean, I’m sure there have been times in your life where you’re like, you kind of got like a bright idea. And then did it for a couple minutes or a couple days, weeks. So what was different about recovery versus just all the other things that you’ve tried and probably not followed through on up to this point?
Yeah, so here’s the thing about and I did this for a long time. So if there’s any of you that are newer, on this journey on this path, like I just want to share this with you and it was something that my friend Tim, who is my art mentor,
he’s still a good friend.
Friend of mine today he’s one of the first friends that I had in recovery. He said to me, and he said, Mark, why don’t you spend as much energy and time that you spend trying to define God or this higher power? Why do you spend that amount of time trying to recognize him? And I think, like, we get so caught up in what recovery is, for those of us that are in recovery, there’s this fear that we all have that we’re doing it wrong. And so what we do is we point out how others are doing it wrong, and then we pigeonhole ourselves and back ourselves into this corner of what recovery is or what recovery isn’t. And I did it. Right. So what recovery is, to me today is it’s a daily effort, a daily intention of changing who I am.
And so I just became absolutely addicted to going inside doing the introspective work getting quiet. I mean, I’ve done
It all like I said, I’m a coexist bumper sticker I’ve been baptized. You know in Christianity, I have been named by Native Americans. I’ve done silent Buddhist meditation retreats, you name it. I mean, I’ve walked on calls I’ve done like I’ve done, the weirder it is the greater chance I’m going to attend it the more cult like the reputation the greater chance I’m going to that you’re going to find me there. I love it. And the reason why I love it is because of the effect produced. If this transformational work, this recovery process stopped producing internal relief for me, I would stop doing it.
In 12 years, it is like the best hit of heroin I’ve ever had every single time I do it. And there’s ups and downs. Some days I’m like, like yesterday, yesterday I woke up I’m like, Damn, I finished this book. Like it’s about to go live on, you know, on Amazon and on Audible and what am I doing because here’s what’s happened to me in this entrepreneurial
journey which we’re going to jump into, is what’s happened to me as I set massive goals. And the longer I do, I’ve only been an entrepreneur for three years, and I’ve exceeded what most people do and like lifetimes, I’m sure by now, because I know a lot of entrepreneurs. And I’m sure because I see it and that, I mean, you’re just stating facts. And I’d love to dig into that a little deeper, but continue with your story. Yeah. And so I set massive goals and I started achieving so much that I guess I became addicted to the setting in the achievement, right? So there’s a there’s this thing happens to us as humans, and we call it a lack of monetary. We call it a lack of motivation, which I’m going to debunk right now. And so,
I would set goals even in early recovery even before recovery, and I am a starter for real. I’m like one of the best starters in the game. I come out of the gate. I hit it hard and the
At some point in that race or in that goal, I fall off. And we call it a lack of motivation. And so we tell ourselves and others tell us that we lack motivation. So here’s what I found was I kept setting these goals, but what I lacked was the belief in myself to fulfill on the things that I wanted to create in life.
And so I would start my mind would tell me know, you’re a horrible person, or maybe it wouldn’t even be that big of a story, but like, it would tell me whatever, and I would stop, it’s kind of like those that go to the gym. You go to the gym for a little bit, you get a good workout, and you’re feeling good. And then you go back the next day, and there’s a bro on the squat rack, and he’s doing 400 pounds and he’s got like, Betty Boop next to him, which if you don’t know that reference, Google it, and then you’re telling yourself you’re fat and you shouldn’t be at the gym and then you stop going to the gym, but then you tell yourself that you lack motivation. You don’t lack motivation. You lack the belief in yourself, like you have negative internal dialogue going on telling you that you can’t
So I’ve become addicted to finding the negative internal dialogue and then debunking it, the only way to debunk negative thoughts is to disprove your mind. So I woke up yesterday and I’m like, shit, man, like, what am I doing? Like I wrote a book, do I start my third book? Like, do I?
Do I up it a little bit? Do I not do self-publishing? Do I write my third book and then submit the transcript and get a publisher and try to get a book deal? And like, I’m like, What are you talking about to like, you haven’t even like shared the message of this book with the world, which I believe is the most powerful thing that I’ve created. So I just had one of those days. So I still have them 12 years into this thing, and I really believe that and Andrew, you can probably attest to this that the bigger the game you’re playing in this life of recovery, the more those days come Yeah, and I actually heard something I think it was like from Dean grass to see it was something to the effect of, you should just set extremely audacious goals.
And the reasoning behind it is your emotions. When you hit a wall, you are going to feel the same way internally on chasing a $500 deal and chasing a $500,000 deal. Like the emotions and the process and the time are all going to be the exact same thing. So if you’re going to be dedicating time towards something, make sure that it’s worthwhile. Now, you and I both know and I’m curious on your thoughts on I know for myself, when I first started my company, my goal was 200 customers, and then when we hit that it was to make it 1000 customers and then when we hit that 10,000 20,000
and so it just kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger. And if I had hit my first goal, I would have sold myself short. Now my mindset six years ago when I started is very different than what it is now. But what are your thoughts on people setting big
goals. I love it. I just I think you should I honestly, I’m just going to come right out x rated. I don’t believe if you’re I don’t believe you’re setting good goals if you’re assholes not getting tight.
I mean, that’s gonna be the intro to the show by the way I love it yeah leave it in the show make that a show quote and I’ll share it on all no-no like the beginning of the show. Like someone hits play. Oh, that is the clip that will play Sunday. I’m going to take the filter off for the rest of this. So here’s the thing about recovery is we get a second chance in life and most people are sticking their fucking big toe in the water. Not me dude. I’m like, it’s like Mario brothers and I should have been dead because I was like the size of a little turtle. And then I hit one of these question mark boxes and all the sudden I got that green mushroom and I’m like, fucking one up, baby. Let’s go. And I mean, I just I I’m getting excited. Now I just view recovery as this like
It’s like an eighth opportunity life I should have been dead so long ago and I’m writing this fucker out. And here’s the biggest thing, the biggest piece and it might make some of you uncomfortable, I would ask you to just open your perspective up a little bit be open to viewing the world and new. Here’s why people don’t set big goals. Because in recovery, there is a myth that individuals in recovery, don’t trust and rely on God if they don’t want to be wealthy. If they want to be wealthy, they don’t trust them rely on God and that’s bullshit.
God put wealth on this earth for us to prosper as much as him now, the shady side of wealth comes from how you generate your wealth. If you’re doing that dishonest Lee, if you’re doing that through manipulation, deceit, then I don’t think that that’s proper. I do what I do to generate wealth to push my message out into the world even more. I want to share this because I mean,
Andrew can see it, but you may not be able to unless he plays the video which I think believe he’s going to, like I have eight letters behind my name. So Mark Crandall, lm SW LC DC, right so I got my master’s degree in social work I’m you know, I’m a licensed therapist I practice here in Austin. And in the social work field, it is the undertone was that you should make Justin just a little bit more money than your clients.
So essentially, you should stay broke and I debunked that. And I’m like, I don’t believe that like why, why, but I don’t chase money at the same time. Just like Andrew stated with his goals. He changed. He was chasing clients. I chase impact.
So I want to empower, right? So this year, I want to impact the lives of a million people. Well, I don’t want to get into it on the show. But I have a spreadsheet broken down of what I actually need to do to impact the lives
A million people. So you have that giant goal and you have it broken down into baby steps. So it’s not just I’m going to wake up and impact a million people, man, it didn’t happen today. Why didn’t it happen? But you’ve got incremental steps. as to if I do this small step, that’ll be one step closer, and if I do this small step, you’ll be one step closer, is that kind of how you’ve been structuring your larger goals. Yeah, so for every two copies of this that sells I’m giving one away and he’s show in his book embrace your past when your future Yeah, so it’s not and I’m not even like I’m not even playing dude, my sales funnels built out in this thing. Like I’m not hiding it. I’m not doing the See that’s my funnel. It’s right there. And it’s just an opportunity for anyone that wants to go further to actually work with me and jump into the purpose chases Academy and like get going right but like
I’m not hiding it like I believe in the power of God and my higher self or universe, whatever it is you believe in. I like Like I said, I’m a coexist bumper sticker. So if it’s good, amen, I set ridiculous goals, like just I mean, I wrote this second book in 42 days, and it’s the best content I’ve ever written. And this second book is sort of built off of your first one, correct? Yeah. So then the first book was premature. And that took me about six months. It was premature. So it’s my story. And I kind of it just ends because I wanted to get it out into the world and my buddy Brian, who’s a three-time TEDx speaker and was to his horn. He read my book, and he was like, Mark, like, you need to finish this and I go, What do you mean, he’s like, I read all the way through to the end, and I still feel like you should have died.
He’s like, yeah, you lived happily ever after, but you just ended the story. So I like went back. I reworked the original story.
Which was eulogy of childhood memories. My first book, I reworked it, I changed a bunch of things, I added some more stuff. And then and part two, it’s literally how I went from a view of the world that all these things in my past happened to me to how they happen for me. And I literally give the reader step by step directions to how they themselves can overcome that. And I get into it goal setting circle of influence, the mindset, like most people think that they stopped doing goals because they lack motivation. But I really outline there’s actually a, there’s a graphic in there an image showing individuals what actually stops them from completing their goals. So you start a goal, you get the momentum, your mindset kicks in or it kicks out and it tells you-you can or you can’t and most people stop because they don’t have the circle of influence around them to reach out to them to Hey, Andrew, man, I and I did this yesterday. I’m having a fucked up data.
bag, my mind is telling me that I’m not good enough again, it’s telling me that no one’s gonna like this book, it’s telling me to go do something else. Like it’s telling me to take a job. And that’s when Andrew says, dude, fuck that you come way too far. Let’s go right here, watch this video or do this thing and then I’m back on. And it’s so interesting that you talked about the circle of influence. And one of the things it’s, it’s one of those pretty well known, I think it’s Jim Rome quotes that, you know, you’re the average of the five people that you associate with the most. And I know for myself, and just trying to achieve more and achieve more and achieve more that and I’m not saying this narcissistically or from a place of ego, but I eventually found that I got to a place where, while I’m trying to bring a lot of other people up, I couldn’t really relate with a lot of other people. I mean, just statistically, there’s not
Many 30 something-year-olds that own multi-million dollar companies like that’s just statistically there are not that many of us. And so, you know, when I was younger, and I’m college student aspiring to be a financial planner, like, it’s very easy for me to find 30 other people that are in the same boat, like I go to my finance class and we’re all doing the same thing thinking the same thing acting the same way. So once I got to a higher level, I’ve discovered that I needed to be intentional with the exact people that I want, and I wasn’t going to find them by just popping into and I mean, I loved the group. I did it for several years, but NPI and more people are more familiar with a B and I. It’s a networking group where you can only have one person from each industry and I met a lot of really great people. It was really really good eye-opening, but I
When I went there, I was hoping Well, I could find other people that own giant businesses that want to be growing more. And what I came to realize is that when I wasn’t finding what I was looking for with the normal like spray and pray, I came to realize that when you want to achieve a very specific very big thing, you need to know exactly what you want to do. Your goal shouldn’t be. I’m going to show up to this networking event and see what happens. It should be. I want Mark Crandall on the self-made and sober podcast, because his story is incredible. And I’m not going to bump into him without putting some legwork behind it. lucky enough. I had the connection through Jesse Harless us on the third episode and really cool backstory with him and how we got connected. And then I asked him for introductions to people that
He thinks are high achievers. So it wasn’t just a level of, hey, I want to do better. Why isn’t anybody better than I am? It’s, I need to find exactly who I want. And then that motivation that rah rah rah, where Oh, yeah, I’m going to have all these great guests on the show this in that, like, I need to be intentional on exactly who I want. I need to be intentional on who I want in my circle of influence. And most people just live their lives. I mean, look at you know, when you were a kid, were your best friends, anyone outside of your neighborhood? Like Of course not. Because you showed up to school and people in your neighborhood, the same background. you’re attracted to them, but the statistical odds that those four people are those five people that were your best friends in kindergarten, the odds
They are actually the people that are going to be pushing you through and you all happens to live within a quarter mile of each other like it’s just not. It’s just not real. But so many people want to just show up to things and just have it fall into their lap and I think what you’re doing is so cool with setting the intentions of I am going to impact all these people now dissect that break it down, how do I influence all these people? What steps do I need to take what action needs to happen in order for me to achieve this because so many people and this isn’t knocking the bn eyes and the networking groups, but a lot of people when they show up to that if you think about it, it’s Hey, show up to this group. help other people but you will get leads falling into your lap without trying to do anything here are easy leads here. Easy sales.
Instead of building out a funnel, you know you’re not going to get thousands of customers impact millions of people by showing up and networking Well, you have to be intentional, you have to build it out. And I kind of went off on a tirade but it’s tough to see so many people with this just idea that things are just going to magically happen without really putting in effort. So I mean writing your book and six months of it and the negative self-talk and the reaching out to people to get it to to get you over those over those mental hurdles. After you had your first one finished. And I’m I’m like in the rumblings I actually have a call with someone tomorrow maybe this will be like the oh man remember he talked about that briefly that But no, no promises but conversations in the works on a book but for your first one.
took six months. Second 140 some days you said 43 was it? 4242? Okay, it was at my editor and afforded to so in 42 days. How was your mindset different after you had accomplished it one time going into the second one?
It’s just like, it’s just my mind is bullshit, right? So it’s, yeah, it’s, here’s what’s happening. Here’s what happens, it stops most people and it’s going to go very deep, especially for those in recovery. But like three-quarters of my disbelief in myself stems from me comparing myself to Andrew.
Right so like, I’m not going to have his successor I’m not going to have their success right. So I’m not going to do it and it’s just like most people never take action but it’s the only way to overcome internal dialogue like negative internal dialogue is to take action to disprove your mind so you know, he’s talking about circle of
influence. I set a goal in January, I wrote out a list of individuals that I wanted on my podcast. And they’re all coming on. And number one on the list was Hal Elrod. He’s the author of The Miracle Morning. And now the miracle equation. You know, another one was my favorite Olympic lifter, john north. Another was my favorite hip hop artist apathy. And they’re all coming on my podcasts. They’re all scheduled, but with, with how, when and I’m telling you with apathy, he’s like, he’s been following me before he replied back to my dm that I sent him on Instagram. Right? So he’s been following the work that I’m doing and I had to stay grinding and stay consistent. He watched me it’s like yeah, this summer, dude, let’s do it. But with how what kept coming to me and meditation was get him on your podcast, but you can’t ask him on.
And so I was at his I joined his mastermind, right because I need to place myself in front of these people that I want to be mentored by that I want in my circle.
Was that his mastermind he’d heard about the work that I’ve done in another mastermind, pulled me aside, had a conversation with me and he said, Is there anything that I can do for you? And I wanted to be like, Yeah, dude, like, you’re the last person and then I can rewrite my list of people that I want on my podcast. But I didn’t. I was like, Nah, man, I just want to be in your world. And fast forward two weeks later, he asked me on his podcast and then invited himself on the mind. And of course, I didn’t say no, cuz I’m like, Yeah, dude. Oh, totally. There’s a spot for you. I mean, I’m out there a little bit. I’m like, four weeks out, but like, you know, Totally, yeah.
That’s spring into like, I got Jay Pappas, on who I just scheduled. And for those of you don’t know who he is, he’s the author of the book, the one thing right, he’s coming on and like the more like if you want to level up your life, you need to start. Like you need to start playing. You need to start playing a bigger game, but you need to be around
higher level individuals, especially those that are in recovery. Playing in the sandbox is what I call like going to meetings or being around other people in recovery that’s playing in the sandbox. I did something unorthodox when I moved to Texas. And I jumped out into the world of entrepreneurs here and a lot of them aren’t in recovery. A lot of them go to the bar and they drink and they do networking events at the bar and like I’m spiritually fit my recoveries in place, so I’m able to go hang out with them. And as a result of getting out there and seeing these people, like I have some amazing relationships today, but you gotta it’s what I was talking about, like most people in recovery to stick their toe in the water and talk about how cold it is. I just jumped the fucking like, Whoa, my nipples are hard. Let’s go. You know what I mean? Like one of those. Just like, yeah, I want more. I mean, society teaches us though. Play it safe. Do the smart thing. Get a government job, don’t Rafal
Fathers don’t go against the grain that have that end, okay? You don’t have to be the person that like prides themselves on like hurting others and things like that. But it’s just it’s such a small mindset. And because everybody has that mindset, everybody will they’ll cosign it. Hey, I was writing a book and I gave up. Oh, yeah, well, you know, publishing is difficult and you don’t really want to go into that world. You know, you should do go back to working for an asshole boss that you don’t like, make him rich, and come home and complain about your job. That’s really what you should do, because that’s how our society lives. So we’ve got people who are afraid to tell people the truth and say, Hey, you quitting on this on this goal that you set for yourself? This is bullshit. And if you’re going to achieve anything in life, you have to follow through on it.
Like when I started my IT company, I was in my living room by myself. I had, I had no clue what I was doing, but I was still doing it. And then when I made my first hire for somebody in it other than myself, I didn’t know what I was doing. But I still did it. Because I saw the bigger picture, that if I can scale and grow this, that we can impact so many more people, especially in an industry that’s got so much negative stigma behind it. So it’s just, it’s one of those things that I get passionate about, with people who are just, you know, you should really play it safe. Like all those people that were playing it safe when the government shut down, like what was safe about that move. In my company in the last six years, hundreds of people have been hired and fired. And like at zero point was I afraid that one of those was me. Like I choose my destiny. I set the things in motion, but with that comes extra stress and I’ll
Lot of people, it’s just easier to sit back. Just wait for things to fall into your lap complain about it. And since 90% of the world is doing that anyway, or at least in America, there’s no reason to have ambition because ambition is
why would you? Why would you jump into the water? Like, what if it’s really cold? Who cares? It doesn’t matter. Do it? Because nothing fun is happening with dipping your toe in the water. I love that you hit on that and it’s so real for so many people. So if someone’s trying to make the jump into entrepreneurship, what path or what resources would you recommend them just for starting out?
Just start I mean you’re if you’re listening to this podcast, then you’re starting right and, and then it just and then in here, I’m just going to tell you like what you’re going to experience is the opportunity to walk through a shit ton of fear.
And I’m telling you like when I went to there’s a, one of the first networking events that I did was this thing called the internet marketing party and it’s in Austin and none of them are sober, right except me like I was the only one drinking a taco Chico, which is like fizzy water out here. It’s just walking through that fear. And sticking your hand out like one of my best friends here in Texas. We were at a transformational workshop. And he stated my wife sent me here to make friends and I walked up to him and said, Hey, my name is Mark, I’m your new friend. And he’s like,
he’s my boy. He’s a hustler. He’s an entrepreneur, like is just like he grinds his face off. He’s a real estate wholesaler. He’s not sober. Right? But he’s not. He’s not like me when he drinks, you know, but he’s turned into one of my closest friends. And it’s going to be a series of walking through fear. It’s like the first BNA that you went to like, one of my first assignments for my first business mentor was to hit every big meeting in Austin, there’s 70
See, I think that’s a
Much better approach, then just going to want like, the idea behind it, you know is that you build the relationships get people to know like and trust you. But in all honesty, I mean, I’ve shown up and that that was actually the strategy that I did when I moved out here a couple months ago was I just went to all of the big chapters in the area. And I got, I got deals from it, and I still I stayed connected with a fair amount of the people too. So it’s like, you don’t have to just keep showing up to this group over and over and over, hoping for something to happen. Like there’s a million other opportunities. So go on, what else would you How would you suggest someone say they’re about to jump into being like a life coach or something like that? And I know you don’t like the word life coach, but I’m using it in the way that most people would understand what I meant. If I said life coach, as opposed to a train
formation coach. Yeah, I mean, just you. I mean, you’ve listened to some of my stuff, you know, my thoughts on that. It’s just such a flooded industry with those that are not equipped to actually do what they’re doing. But anyways, I would say seek, find a mentor. And as Andrew can attest to, I’ve spent some really some bought whole tightening, I’m not a money on mentorship, and getting coaches and guides. And last year, I spent $75,000 on my personal development, whether that’s coaching or masterminds, or retreats or workshops, and on and on and on, and this year, I’m like in a pause with spending for those. So all I’ve done this year is I’ve done one conference and then one mastermind so do you view those though as expenses or are they more investments, their total investments, I mean, for one, they’re right off for my business. So the greatest
The greatest write off that I have coming out of my businesses are things that I’m doing to increase my worth, is how I view it so I’m not one like I’m not one is going to go by like new, you know, a new sports car, I would much rather invest, invest 1020 $30,000
into a mastermind that I know, in joining that mastermind my circle of influence is going to increase. That’s just how I view it. And every time I take those actions every time I go to a conference and which I find on them, I mean, Jesse, you had him on your podcast, he’s like the, the guru of sticking your toe in every pool that that there is, at one time he was doing more shit that he could keep track of, but like, look at where we’ve excelled to, but most people don’t want to invest in themselves. They don’t want to hire a coach. That’d be my recommendation. Like get a coach, get a guide, get a mentor, get somebody who you could relate to what they were saying. And you’re going to pass
Like if you want a good coach like you’re going to pay, it’s going to your bottle is going to get tight, you’re going to be like, Well, why am I going to pay that? Well, it’s you’re not only getting their expertise and their guidance and their push, you know, their support their encouragement and then challenging you. When you hire on somebody like this or when you join a mastermind and you enter into a circle of influence, you now get their circle.
So you’ve just leveled up. If you want to continue your life of going to meetings, and vaping. And you know,
I’m not shooting on that. I’m just saying like, if you want to continue that talking about how you’re hustling, and you’re doing this and you’re doing that, but you’re really just working a nine to five and when you lay your head on your pillow, you know, there’s something more out there but you just can’t seem to get your finger on it. If you want to continue that life. Go ahead. I mean, there’s millions of people doing that on a daily basis. But then there are the types you know, and Andrew is interviewed few of my
Close friends already there the types that they’re we’re just going against the norm. I’m just like out to see what I can actually achieve in this life. And what I’m finding is like I can achieve all kinds of things, anything. Yeah, the biggest thing though is that people don’t want to get uncomfortable. They just want to do what they’re used to doing. There’s a pretty big parallel between, you know, the guy who he’s 35 years old living in his parents basement, and they’re not forcing him to get a job. They’re giving him food, shelter, spending money, what is his motivation to get out and actually get a job? There’s no pain behind it, and they’re like, Oh, you need to stop being lazy and it’s like, you’re rewarding. inactivity and I’m not going to get super deep into it, but all the system
With unemployment and things like that, it’s like, will keep paying you until you go out and get a job. And it’s like, so if I don’t get a job, you’ll keep paying me. I choose that, you know, it’s the rewards aren’t in line with the actions that you want people to take. And so entrepreneurship and starting something big, it’s so uncomfortable. And my coach is the one who is like, you want to increase your circle of influence. You need to give people the opportunity to share their message on your platform. You’re not going to just increase your circle and have a whole bunch of people that are high achievers, if you don’t have something to give them. And in my mind, I was like, Well, people should want me in their circle because I’m so great. And he’s like, well, it’s the other way around. You should want people to want you in theirs. And it’s awesome that how Elrod is on. He’s on your list he’s on mine as well. Wink wink
make the connection. I’m working on it regardless. But actually, Anna David, who wrote the Miracle Morning, or she co-authored the Miracle Morning for addiction recovery, actually, is going to be on in a couple weeks. So I guess couple months with the queue of guests that we have on when it’ll be released. It’s really cool though. Like,
I was literally on a coaching call last night with my coach. And I was saying, I was excited about this show and about some of the other guests that are coming on in the future. And I he was like, you know, who would be you’re just like, out of this world guests. And I was like, I’ll never get like a Robert Downey Jr. And he’s like, with that mindset. You’re right. And you need to smash that. That’s everything that we’re talking about in this episode to like, you hear things a million different times, but then like, how it applies to your life at that exact moment. It’s just like, Oh, yeah,
If I want that to happen, then I need to put that into the universe. I need to accept that it can happen. And I need to make the moves to make it happen. And I can’t just sit on the sidelines, you need to create leverage. So it’s all about leverage. It’s like Robert Downey Jr. is going to come on your podcast when you know it’s going to benefit him. Exactly right. So I’d say I’m going to give this plug the one thing that I would suggest anyone listening to this podcast do is read Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. And I can give you a cliff notes version right now, people don’t give a fuck about you till you show that you give a fuck about them. So,
like, I practice the principles of recovery in my business, and like I show up on Andrews podcasts. I don’t know him from a hole in the wall to bring value to his audience. At the end of this podcast, he in the back of his mind is going to be thinking What can I do for Mark? right and so I do this all day.
Every day, I just show up for people and bring them value. And their thoughts are How can I bring value to mark? And that’s just how we grow. So when I bring value to Jesse or when I do, I don’t want to talk about the leverage that I use to, to get into house world. But you know, Andrew probably saw the gifts that I presented them, right. And it’s like,
it’s about leverage. It’s about it’s literally about continuing to show up for people in such a way that they just want to help you. You don’t need to use manipulation you they just want to be a part they want you in their circle because you’re like, so powerful. One of my coaching clients I had been before I even started doing small business coaching. He was just my friend. And he was like, hey, you’re just like some dude. And you’ve got like, all these companies and all these employees and all these things going on, like I mean, I’m just a person to what’s the difference and
Dude, his thing is so cool like he’s a handyman and he’s making decent money probably approaching like six figures just, you know,
doing this in that for a whole bunch of people getting recommendations and just kind of growing his business and I just introduced some ideas of, you know, if you want to run a business like here is how you can actually run in scale a business and I get texts from him. I taken him on as an actual client, and I get texts from him like every week, he was like, Hey, man, I made $7,642 this week, and I only worked five hours. Thank you. And it’s like that it’s not just like a fake testimonial like, that’s the life that he is living. Now as a result, I was doing it for free until he basically was like, Look, man, like, I need this to be a formal thing. The exchange of money. I know that this is an investment and that’s how I can know that I can keep you on board providing value and guidance into my life.
It’s a beautiful thing and like, yes, people just they think of money as this just terrible thing and oh my god, money, it makes everything so bad and money. It’s just an exchange. It’s just energy. It’s just pieces of paper. And whatever connotation you associate with it, that’s your own insecurity or that’s your own point of view on it. So in wrapping up, if someone’s listening to this and they’re struggling in recovery, what would you say is the best move that they should make in order to get to level up get the green mushroom on their recovery? Get around individuals that are chasing this thing, like you know, it’s just like those that I see that are struggling are either isolating or they’re hanging out with people that are bottom feeders if you will, and that’s not like that’s no firing of shots, right? So fire your sponsor, get a new sponsor gets
Somebody who’s like you sit when your bottle gets tight when they walk into a meeting or you cop resentments because you’re like, Damn, I’ll never dress like that walk into a meeting like whatever it is like there’s a reason why they’re they have swagger why they’re they have confidence because they’re chasing more and it’s like, I mean it goes much beyond recovery right? So there are people living nine to five lives like I just don’t I don’t want to I love this life I love being an entrepreneur I love right to give you an example right now I’m gonna look at my calendar. I have three calls this afternoon I could cancel them all.
Why cuz I’m my boss.
Do you know what I might do after this call? It’s sunny out I might go to my pool.
Probably won’t. But I might you know, I mean like, you have the choice to Yeah, I just do what I do. What I want is someone that’s working a nine to five. Ask them what would they get to do in the middle of the afternoon is going in the pool and option
Like it’s not even an option. And it’s and I don’t want to fire shots. I don’t want to fire shots at those that are working nine to five.
So but what I want to ask you or I guess leave you with and my closing thoughts as Andrew is wrapping up here is like why are you working the nine to five? What’s your next move? Like, start thinking that? Why are you working that job? Like what is your next move? Like what are you working for? Most people don’t take action because they don’t know why they’re taking action. What is your Why?
Why do you want to do this? Why are you doing this, you get clear on that and your whole life will open up. I think having that clarity on the next move is such an important thing. And again, it comes down to being intentional and knowing what you want to do, why you want to go there. And I just think if more people were aware that there is so much more out there than just grinding it out nine to five. And I know it’s like, well, Andrew, you employ a whole bunch of people who are working eight to four and then four to midnight. Don’t you want all of those nine to five? And if they’re willing to settle and work for me, absolutely. But I literally do leadership training where I preach this exact thing in my own company on Thursdays, and I do a life a live meeting, we put it on our Facebook, private group slash groups, SMC mastermind, and we go over that like if you want more, I’m not going to get mad if somebody quits because they’re pursuing their dream and most of the time people get fired, because they’re just not a good fit. personality wise, what we were hitting on before. If you’re not pushing towards something, you’re not going to achieve anything. And everybody is okay with just being mediocre. But people like Mark, I mean, you have every excuse in the book to just live a life of waste.
And people can justify, they could cosign that, Oh, well look at his childhood and he spent all those years in jail like, of course, he’s going to be doing nothing with his life. And you’re just a living, breathing example, that your past doesn’t define you.
It is about being clear about what you want. And being intentional about going there and doing the actions and not just sitting talking about it.
It’s such a pleasure to have had you on the show mark. How can I
How can people find you where they can find your book? embrace your past when your future gives us the whole shebang, all the plugs, go to my website, Mark and you can get four chapters of my new book. Every everything that I do is there the purpose chasers podcast is on my website. Everything that I do is there so all of my purpose chasers stuff, all the purpose chasers stuff purpose chasers, swag, purpose chasers, everything. Mark. It’s been such a pleasure. Thank you so much, and have a great day man. Thanks for having me.
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